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After I wrote that last post, I figured out what was REALLY bothering me. I posted on Facebook how I really didn't know what to do with myself on weekends, and that was true -- to a certain extent. I was feeling blah and without ANY energy to do ANYTHING, and plus I had pulled an all-nighter between Saturday and Sunday. What I realized later, on Sunday afternoon, was that Trump as a narcissist was sucking all my energy out, which is what narcissists do: demand all the attention, set all the rules, change all the rules all the time, create chaos, give ZERO fucks about who they harm, and suck all the air out of the room, and in this case, "the room" being the entire USA.

So what does one do in that situation? Re-assert boundaries! Look away, and stop giving any attention to the narcissist. For me, that means that I can consume social media and politics Monday through Friday, but on weekends, I need to UNPLUG and just be active, or relax without social media. And this strikes me as a good solution. I'm just about to go add the local fitness center and pool to my apartment lease, and talk to my trainer and see what his schedule is for fitting me in. (Things have shifted between him and me, now that I'm the landlord and he's my tenant, but I'm hoping this won't affect our friendship, and I can still keep working out with him. After all, we're doing a trade, where he gets a place to stay, and I get 2-3 training sessions a week!)

I also realize I'm having a little bit of an issue knowing what to do with myself not only on weekends, but also on weekdays, too, because this is a new situation, a new place to live for a year. Habits take time to form. I certainly want to keep up my fitness, but I am already looking forward to moving back to my condo. It was and has been my home for 18 years, and I miss it. I miss all my usual haunts, from the practical (bank, pharmacy, regular groceries), to the recreational (movie theater, shopping places, etc). I do want to move back. I know I'll miss the commute, but it's my home. I want to be there, and do look forward to moving back, knowing that when I do move back in, it'll be completely different from when Jack and I lived there, and it'll have different energy. That matters a lot.

Time to go for now, but I just thought I'd add this as an addendum. I'm feeling better about having re-set some much-needed boundaries, and not giving away my energy during this turbulent political time. VIVE LA RESISTANCE!

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